It is funny, when you mention upcoming or recent nuptials there are, generally speaking, three reactions. The first is sincere congratulations with sentiments of how great an institution marriage is and how happy and blissful life will be. This has accounted for about one per cent of responses I received and is almost the polar opposite of the most common reaction - which is to be told how someone would “never do it again”, or how they are “happily divorced”. This is not really what a new groom wants to hear! Of course I understand the divorce rates have increased in the last century but that hasn’t made me lose faith in the idea of marriage… some unions do last… just look at the recent Scottish Referendum.
The ‘marriage’ theme was constant throughout the campaign - from both the Yes and No camps. One commentator labelled Cameron, Clegg and Miliband’s promise of further devolution (just two days before the election) as akin to a husband buying his unhappy wife ‘garage flowers’, then Gordon Brown delivered his rousing pre-vote speech demanding that “What we have built together… let no narrow nationalism split asunder”, a phrase loaded with connubial connotation. The result of the election was that Scotland will remain part of the UK. But just minutes after that decision was announced there were discussions about what further devolution might mean for both Scotland, England and the UK as a whole. On page 48 we look at the potential impact it could have on dentistry.
The referendum in Scotland has been celebrated as a victory for democracy, and it is easy to see why – a turnout of 85 per cent is truly impressive. The reason so many did decide to turn out and vote is that independence was a subject people felt very strongly about. If people were that engaged and passionate about other elections I wonder just how different politicians would be, not to mention policies. How passionately opposed were you to the GDC’s proposed ARF increase? The consultation is now closed and the regulator has announced that there were over 4,000 responses – a number it said it was pleased with. As consultations go the number is quite high, but actually it means that less than 10 per cent of dentists actually responded directly to voice their disapproval. Does that reflect general apathy or a lack of faith in the consultation process? We shall see at the end of the month if that is enough to make a difference.
The third reaction one receives when mentioning marriage is a reference to children. It can range from “It’ll be children next” to “She’s not pregnant is she?” depending on how cheeky or blunt people are. At the time of writing the answer to that question is no – not yet, but I’m definitely looking forward to starting my own family. If and when it does happen what would I be entitled to? New rules came into place this month for employees expecting a child, and they apply to both the mother and a partner who has a ‘qualifying relationship’. It is an issue which employers and managers will need to know about, and is covered in depth on page 16.
The world has changed quite considerably over the course of the last 50 years, particularly regarding attitudes and expectations surrounding marriage and childbirth. In more unenlightened times as the mother went through the agony of childbirth all the father had to worry about was that the champagne was on ice and there were matches handy to light a celebratory cigar when it
was all over. Nowadays there is an expectation to be fully involved in the process though – seeing and hearing it all close up; having to remind the mother-to-be to breathe as the ‘magic’ of the screaming agony takes place. Actually… when it’s put like that it doesn’t sound so appealing after all - maybe there is a use for that bucket of ice cold water after all!